Thomm Quackenbush, author

28 Days Later

This is my worst nightmare come to life. If the end of the world came tomorrow and the dead came back as Olympic runners, I would most likely die. Age has not been kind to me and, frankly, I would make it about half a block before needing a smoke. Now, if the dead came back as smokers, maybe I would have a chance. Alas, we cannot chose the form the dead will take, but only deal with said forms.

When a group of animal activists unleash a deadly outbreak, humanity is faced with a new plague that spreads through the tainted blood of victims. This is why universal health care is a bad idea. Enter our hero, who slipped into a coma after the prostate exam from hell and awakes in a world of evil zombies who roam the streets in packs of two. What follows is the ultimate road trip as our hero, a reluctant zombie hunter, a taxi driver, and a kid travel across England looking for the remnants of humanity. They instead find the British military, who have managed to fortify the school in Harry Potter and take delight in shooting zombies. It's ever good fun. In the end, we learn that the rest of the world is fine and England has a horrible evacuation plan.

Directed by the same genius that brought us Trainspotting, 28 Days Later is far from a thinking man's movie, since the cause and the way in which the plague spreads are both revealed to the audience early in the piece. Instead of offering something new to the audience, 28 Days Later tends to set its own drama levels. "That candle may bring zombies or that tunnel is pretty dark," are not only clichés in the medium but also insulting to the intelligence of the audience. The isolation aspect that begins the film is reminiscent of The Last Man on Earth, but is a welcome change to the typical movies of this type. The zombies unfortunately follow the idea that dead people run fast, which is a shame, since I firmly believe hundreds of slow moving unrelenting creatures are better then the US Open Track Team.

Brash at points with a tendency to run hot and cold, 28 Days Later is necessary for the fans of the genre, however those unaccustomed to this type of film may be turned off. Still, it's an interesting looking film, which offers nothing original, but plays well with the films of the past.

Your Moment of Insanity:

No, no. No, See this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

Things You Should Look Out For:

  1. In England, the soda machines dump the cans right onto the ground, which does not seem very sanitary, but it's a different culture so who am I to say?
  2. Even in a plague ridden city, you still have to work off the buddy system. Look both ways before the zombie track team gets you.
  3. Everything bad in the movie happens because the kid suggests it. This means kids are stupid and enjoy watching people turned into zombies.
  4. Chaining zombies to the wall is both entertaining and scary. Well, maybe not scary. Chains are scary though. {rattle rattle}
  5. If a plague hits, your parents will probably do something crazy like kill themselves in bed. First, they'll have to write a note, just to tell you why they killed themselves. Then relax, take a deep breath and get over it, immediately.

Plenty of Zombie Movies to Go Around:

  1. Night of the Living Dead
  2. Plague of Zombies
  3. The Last Man on Earth

Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

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Works by Thomm Quackenbush


Find What You Love and Let It Kill You by Thomm Quackenbush
Pagan Standard Times: Essays on the Craft by Thomm Quackenbush
A Creature Was Stirring: A Twisted Christmas Anthology by Thomm Quackenbush
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At Double Dragon