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Xenology: Carpe Bombing 05/08/2008
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Time goes faster because it is no longer broken down into night and day, but Work and Melanie. So much of my sleeping evenings occur when I am on call, when any brat with a momentary social issue can knock on my door with impunity, that the sleep doesn't seem to count. I fall asleep only after tucking in two-dozen boys and I wake up a handful on minutes before nudging them all back to consciousness. (Unlike my coworker, I do this by knocking on their doors and telling them to wake up, ...
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Red Hook: 19 05/08/2008
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Wick interrupted. "What you do not understand is vast, dead thing. Joachim preserves a balance. Without his machine, the balance is disturbed for a short period until he creates another one. Even this disturbance could ripple out, meaning the needless deaths of dozens, maybe hundreds. Perhaps the creation of more dead things like yourself as our customers seek their needs elsewhere. This can be handled and the new ones can be... eliminated once everything is restored. The machine must be ...
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Red Hook: 18 05/07/2008
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Shane had struggled for only a few minutes when first they entered the blackness, when Seth had fastened a belt around her waist. In a movement Shane could not see and so could not anticipate, he slapped her across the face with such strength that she discovered her mouth could grow new teeth as readily as it could heal a jaw fractured in three places. She spat the broken teeth and a mouthful of blood on the floor. It distracted her captors only for a moment, then they moved to strap the ...
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Xenology: Diary of the Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Dead 05/04/2008
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We move on, Tim espousing a theory I independently came up with, that zombies should get progressively stupider through the generations, since stupid people are generally bitten (the clever ones hide out somewhere until the zombie apocalypse blows over) and only especially idiotic zombies neglect to devour as much of their victims as possible. Eventually, the successive generations of zombies should be uncoordinated enough that they will just twitch on the ground until wild dogs and vultures ...
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Xenology: Flight of the Concord 05/02/2008
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When Kate broke up with me more than eight years ago, she got her own website for her writing and posted a poem, a line of which read to the effect "and I realized (having just gotten out of a relationship) that I no longer have to believe in love." This isn't what Melanie intends. I have, if anything, made her believe in love. Knowing me has made her soft and sweet and cute, all conditions she previously associated with the weakness of femininity. Now, she sees them as virtues - albeit ...
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Xenology: The Risk It Takes 04/27/2008
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This came about because we had spent our Tuesday afternoon with Liz, going to a pub quiz. Melanie was almost instantly abrasive upon my picking her up, disparaging the necklace she'd asked me to get her. This roughness persisted as we went to a park called Poet's Walk to kill some time. She'd made several snide remarks in my direction until I finally grabbed her, kissed her, and asked her exactly what her issue was today. She gave me an abridged version of the above and I thought it was ...
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Cash Cows: Silk Soy Milk 04/27/2008
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I have a confession for you, my loyal readers. I am lactose intolerant. I know, I know, there is such shame attached to the mere idea. Such shame and gastro-intestinal discomfort. I've tried to keep it a secret from friends and loved ones. "Sure, I'd love another slice of double cheese pizza," I'd say or swallow the glass of chocolate milk they'd lovingly made for me to cheer me up, knowing it would result in feeling unpleasant for the duration of the night. I tried the pills, but they ...
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Spores: i can has braaaaains? 04/25/2008
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Okay, they don't quite taste great together yet, but the potential is definitely there. Lolcats are hot on the internet right now. Zombies have been hot ever since the voodoo priestess cursed them/meteor landed/Rage virus spread/Hell filled up. Neither has appropriate grammar and both are abominations to the sight of God.
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Xenology: Operation Reconnect 04/18/2008
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The Anons hand out pamphlets entitled "Why Am I Wearing This Mask?" and give Melanie a stack. I am given balloons on sticks with the headless Anonymous figure. (They could not get approval for helium balloons, since helium is a controlled substance now.) The question the pamphlets ask is a good one that people quickly ask when I offer their children balloons. The Church of Scientology has gained a reputation for intimidating those who would speak out against them, sending church members to ...
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