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Being Good Toast (2005.12.28)
Emily has problems, but the solution might be thousands of miles away. Xen and Stevehen take in a show at the Cubbyhole.

Libating Chaos (2005.12.21)
Xen ages, but he's always aging. And he revels in clichés. And he libates to Eris. He's good that way.

Girl(Guitar + Singing) = Freaking Sexy (2005.12.14)
Xen lost a lot of life and Jill Sobule is very far away. Cindy Lauper cares about Matthew Shepard, though.

Objective Larval Unicorns (2005.12.07)
Xen bores you by examining his dichotomous life. Emily has many paths before her and is soon to choose.

Wood Stalking (2005.11.30)
Kids are idiots, as they must be. Melissa and Stevehen plan to move to the land of hunters and brush fires. Xen and a cadre of the peachy keen descend on Woodstock.

Dendrochronology (2005.11.23)
Xen intends to tell you about a movie he saw, but his soul can override his fingers to trick the brain.

To Make Much of Time (2005.11.14)
Zack and Cristin move into their new house. Yes, house. Xen provokes the flaming ire of the otherside. M and Xen plan a wedding.

Ugliest Little Boy (2005.11.07)
Xen crafts serial killers out of wax and love and terror. Xen does an honest day's work watching cartoons. He also tries to poke holes in the veil, because where is the fun in not being in the middle of a horror movie?

Xoch Bomb (2005.11.02)
Xen responds to hate mail from Xoch and Vince Ripper.

Mrs. Dan (2005.10.19)
Keilaina and Dan get hitched.

Underdog Victorious (2005.10.12)
Xen hugs his model for female attractiveness and is unemployable. Dives Dives has and party and everybody comes, but what is the proper pronoun for a trasnsgendered girl who wants to be a gay man?

Of Lesbians and Virgins (2005.10.05)
We grow rightly irritated at a pair of pretentions virgins who detract from the pleasure of Ambivalent Elephant and 3FU. Xen is worth more that $8.

Social Idiot (2005.09.29)
Xen's car is broken into. The Gadabout Film Festival is so bad it hurts. Xen muses on how incapable he is of reserved social interactions.

Disposition Examination (2005.09.22)
Coley appears. Ann plays a fun game against gluten. Xen is still trying to get hired.

Xoch (2005.09.16)
The gang goes to see Kevin play, though this means sitting through the dramatic Xoch. Xen has a penis and is therefore less marketable.

Living Under Universalism (2005.09.09)
Xen and Emily seek the divine from those who choose not to name it and are rewarded with hurricane lemonade.

Real Estate Here in My Bag (2005.09.03)
There is a wee bit of an utter disaster in New Orleans. Xen intervies for a job he already had. Neil Gaiman rips Xen's idea off, though the former obviously has no idea the latter was ever born. Zack and Cristin return in time to see Dives Dives sing.

Crab Brain Leisure (2005.08.21)
Xen gives up a hair tie for insight and goes to the beach to play with sandcrabs.

Rules of Engagement (2005.08.14)
Xen proposes to Emily on vacation.

Malarial Jedi (2005.08.07)
Emily throws a party, isn't a bridesmaid, catches the plague, gets an IV, and has an ice block thrown at her forehead. She has had better entries.

Keys Depressing (2005.07.25)
Xen mopes in a writerly fashion. Dives Dives discovers Chrysater. Xen and Emily discover the eccentricities of their new place.

Spay or Neuter Your Goths (2005.07.19)
Xen meets Dives Dives fairy cousin Jenni. Dan describes how he proposed to Kei. Xen begins to move into the new apartment. Chassa is met because Xen has too many good intentions.

The Big Buddha (2005.07.12)
Xen climbs a mountain after midnight, but he prefers to walk. Melissa see the Big Buddha. Dezi embarrasses Xen with his coolness.

Holy Moment, Batman! (2005.07.05)
Emily, Dives Dives, and Xen share a holy moment as a sudden carnival. Melissa has her ears poked by intentionally bad music.

Free Spirit (2005.06.28)
Dives Dives and Xen bond on their drive to meet Emily as Free Spirit, where she is becoming more the Pagan.

Flaming Fairy Fundament (2005.06.21)
Melissa and Xen visit the friendly neighborhood sex shop and one of them does four shots of whiskey. Go on, guess which one. Zack, Emily, and Xen deliver a dead bird by way of a carnival freak show. Everyone is an adult child, but not in the fetishistic way.

Sweet Lead Paint (2005.06.14)
Emily's father walks through the garden with her. Xen drinks floor cleaner. We learn the story of the dissolution of Katlyn. Xen and Emily sign the lease for their new apartment, though she is a cripple.

Laughing So We Do Not Cry (2005.06.07)
Emily catches a hawk. Dives Dives leaves her boyfriend. Emily gets shod and sketches poles.

Measuring in Months (2005.05.27)
Emily's father is not well.

Bundles of Memory (2005.05.22)
Xen muses over the happiest moment that is weighing him down. He also graduates and dreams. Zack leaves Katlyn for Cristin.

People Are Strange When You're Estranging (2005.05.15)
Stevehen leaves the state because he is cheating on Tina with Melissa. Dives Dives, Emily, and Xen look at circles and kiss blissful statues.

Maypole (2005.05.07)
Emily and Xen dance around the maypole with Dives Dives the Chakra Tease. Xen sort of, kind of lucks into a job. Don't get excited.

Bowling for Dates (2005.04.30)
Stevehen tries to fix Melissa up with Depressio.

Granfaloons (2005.04.16)
Several members of our cast trek up the wrong mountain without a map!

Choices and Chances (2005.04.09)
Civilization is the product of exact couplings and your ancestors not being eaten before they could accomplish this. Xen will speak to them fondly in poorly lit graveyards, because they are his cousins. Also because civilization netted him M because the genes of eternity squirm indifferently in his cells.

Storm Trooper Helmet (2005.04.02)
"I am going to go upstairs and furiously masturbate."

Bete Noire (2005.03.25)
Xen begins his new placement at the middle school and deals with it far better than the attack of a former teacher.

Hudson River School of Fish (2005.03.18)
The Piss Christ is missed in place of glowing mountains and fleas in ears.

Distrait Flush (2005.03.11)
One placement down, one to go. And, to play to the sticks, lap dancing lessons.

Pareidolia (2005.03.06)
Spontaneous combustion and psychic powers are discounted and Melissa is not a whore. Vassar kids are, however, scorned and envied.

VD (2005.02.27)
Xen almost - but doesn't - propose in a jewelry store.

HST (2005.02.20)
HST is no more.

The Blue Gates (2005.02.13)
Xen finds in closets and manages to get professionally observed. There is a blue Gate, though.

Things I Can't Do (2005.02.02)
An acquaintence dies and Xen muses dispassionate. Xen also begins student teaching and is alone in his internet connected cage.

Cease to Teach (2005.01.25)
Conor exists through exotic, non-syphilitic disease and a new girlfriend. Xen anticipates indentured servitude.

A Part No Longer Meant (2005.01.18)
Goth fish experts flirt with Xen, though he is ignorant of this fact and it better concerned with thoughts of Emily. Emily beats multicultural butt in Mexico. Unfortunately, none of this prevents them having to prostrate themselves to disconnected city people.

Bowling Pins Like Tea Leaves (2005.01.07)
Zack introduces Xen to Katlyn in a series of unfortunate events. Kei, Dan, M, and Xen knock over rows of tiny, evil white men.

Thomm Quackenbush is an author and teacher in the Hudson Valley. Double Dragon publishes four novels in his Night's Dream series (We Shadows, Danse Macabre, and Artificial Gods, and Flies to Wanton Boys). He has sold jewelry in Victorian England, confused children as a mad scientist, filed away more books than anyone has ever read, and tried to inspire the learning disabled and gifted. He is capable of crossing one eye, raising one eyebrow, and once accidentally groped a ghost. When not writing, he can be found biking, hiking the Adirondacks, grazing on snacks at art openings, and keeping a straight face when listening to people tell him they are in touch with 164 species of interstellar beings. He likes when you comment.

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