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10.04.99 11:31 a.m.

"I'll talk about stuff that bothers me, like the way people are being cheated out of the experience of 'becoming'. It's the computer which becomes now. People think, 'Oh, boy, wait until I get this new program.' Bill Gates will give you a program to write a perfect Shakespearean sonnet. For God's sake, that's not becoming."

  -Kurt Vonnegut 

Created on 7/19/01 from a letter written to Kate.
I just read an article about how one of the people who was killed in Columbine is supposed to be a martyr. There are so many things wrong with all of this... I think I'll go shoot up my school because I have become so disillusioned. Hey... wait... think about it. Isn't disillusionment a GOOD thing? It allows you to see the truth behind facades; illusions... I WANT to be disillusioned! I don't want to be lied to!
Anyway, what does it matter who said they believe in God? What if she said she believed in the Goddess or the almighty Vishnu? Is she LESS of a martyr? And how exactly is she a martyr? What grand cause did she die for? Being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not quite martyr material, in my opinion. Just a profound tragedy that people simple won't stop milking for attention. They are dead and no amount of talking and controversy can ever bring them back. Let them be.

reading: too many article glamorizing a tragedy.
listening: the soundtrack to itwanting: a less sensationalistic and vulturous world.
interesting thought: This tragedy could have been prevented hundreds of times and wasn't.

Thomm Quackenbush is an author and teacher in the Hudson Valley. Double Dragon publishes four novels in his Night's Dream series (We Shadows, Danse Macabre, and Artificial Gods, and Flies to Wanton Boys). He has sold jewelry in Victorian England, confused children as a mad scientist, filed away more books than anyone has ever read, and tried to inspire the learning disabled and gifted. He is capable of crossing one eye, raising one eyebrow, and once accidentally groped a ghost. When not writing, he can be found biking, hiking the Adirondacks, grazing on snacks at art openings, and keeping a straight face when listening to people tell him they are in touch with 164 species of interstellar beings. He likes when you comment.

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