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04.11.99 10:08 p.m.

"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted."

  -Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Created on 3/22/01 from a letter written to Kate.
Kate is visiting a college in MA. I just missed her so much I got very depressed. Not sad, depressed. Because I knew no matter how hard I tried, I could not physically contact her. So I bought a book on out-of-body experiences as a present for her.
No, really, I actually did. I haven't tried the book, but I did send to messages of luck and love... I do so much love her so terribly. It is not, and could not be, conditional. Well, not like that. Only if she turned into someone who she isn't, but she wouldn't. And I would still so greatly love her. Forever and a day...
I miss her. But at least I got to talk to her before she left. That really brightened my day. When I got home from work today, I had no one to tell my day to. Well, I did, but it simply wasn't the same. They didn't make her kinds of comments or ask her kind of questions.
Anyway, I saw a pixy at work today. She was about 4'9", with glitter in her hair and around her eyes, a pink dress that on anyone else would have been short, but on her it was below her knees, dripping with occult symbols, and most of all SHE TALKED LIKE ONE. She had a small, high, voice, but it wasn't squeaky. And her syntax was inverted. Like instead of "Shall we go there? She said "There, shall we go?" Twas neat. I almost talked to her, because she was obviously a Pagan (We look for our own and can tell... Well, that and she had pentacle earrings and rings). But what would I have said? And I think it's best that I just continue to think she was a pixy with no reality bothering me. I mean, she was a mother of at least one of the children... that's not a pixy thing. So, we will just let her be Tinkerbell.
And for the first time ever, people at work told me how great it was having the party there, and how nice we were to them, and just generally made us feel that their days were better because we helped them and that we were not insolent kitchen help. Oh, and this pissed me off. My boss has decided that she is now going to take taxes out of my paycheck... wait, you knew that... Well, it still sucks and unless she gives me a sufficient raise to compensate, I'll go elsewhere. Yeah, right. I always say that, but do I ever? Well, yes, I did once. But I got laid off.
Maybe I can ask guidance for a new job? Yeah, good idea. I should be getting back to my paper now. It is on the significance of the title of "Measure for Measure" and "The Glass Menagerie" on the respective works. It's almost done, but I'd just like to finish it up, you know? Oh, Kate's horoscope fits her today:


G R E E T I N G S Gemini

Now is a good time to study about or travel to a foreign country - easier said than done, but at the very least, you can take a walk or a drive in a new section of town that you've never visited before. The change will recharge your somewhat drained psyche. Seeing new sights will open up new ways of thinking about your same old problems. You will probably be interested in all the aspects of life that differ from your own. If you are able to learn one new thing, you may never be the same again!

reading: recruiting literature for MCLA
listening: my computer purring at me
wanting: To hold Katie for just a minute
interesting thought:Distance makes the heart want to implode.

Thomm Quackenbush is an author and teacher in the Hudson Valley. Double Dragon publishes four novels in his Night's Dream series (We Shadows, Danse Macabre, and Artificial Gods, and Flies to Wanton Boys). He has sold jewelry in Victorian England, confused children as a mad scientist, filed away more books than anyone has ever read, and tried to inspire the learning disabled and gifted. He is capable of crossing one eye, raising one eyebrow, and once accidentally groped a ghost. When not writing, he can be found biking, hiking the Adirondacks, grazing on snacks at art openings, and keeping a straight face when listening to people tell him they are in touch with 164 species of interstellar beings. He likes when you comment.

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