Thoughts of Love
wandering at dusk
seeking only peace
the densest of mists materialized out of my tears and sighs
sitting in a discarded chair lying forlornly in an empty field
I mused over my livid vivid memories of the times in which we spent
and what they meant
the beauty of nature strikes the same cord in my heart you always did
or maybe still do
wandering once more with no aim and no true name
an empty ache deep within my chest sought to fill itself with your
unique companionship yet you were not to
be found
the solitude tends to wear on ones soul after a time
my soul must be ragged beyond reason
I alone sit in an ellipse of disseminating trees
my ironic escorts
the sky brags of subtle oranges and graceful pinks
this should truly move me
yet it does naught more than my wishing you were here
to partake of it with me
yet by your own choice or that of some cruel cosmic hand I sit
undisturbed
unnoticed
most of all unaccompanied
the wind blows harsh melodies
rubbing my soul raw
tyrannically refusing to carry word of my unadulterated emotion to
your gentle ear perhaps cupid is taking
a naked lunch
what use is a heart if it amplifies your wounds but not your cries
it seems I am just a pawn in a stellar game of chess
never getting the queen
just admiring from afar
and eventually sacrificing my being for her
anonymously
the stygian wind blows once more
chilling me so
yet this ague can not be shaken off so easily
as with a warm blanket or a hot meal
this chill goes much further than matter should allow
emplacing a frigidity deep within the fibers of my soul
its sole cure being a species of love long since denied and
forgotten
existing only as a tragic ghost of a memory
fading fast with every tortured breath my form is forced to take
causing me to fear this mortal coil feels neither love nor hate for me
but violent apathy
as do the creatures within it
or do they
the sporadic throws of an awful storm introduce themselves over head
sobbing the tears stolen from me
as they roll down me raw cheeks
the cathartic rains destroying to bring rebirth
answering the parched earth's desperate pleas for precipitation
lightning rending the air in retribution for my sins
unnamed and uncommitted
and yet speaking of your splendor more kindly then mortals think possible
still not doing you rectitude in the least
refluxes of an elemental's sorrow
hide the tears shed on your behalf
darkness descends on this wretched watery land
causing me to be blind and wet
yet better able to understand the poetic justice my present state
but still doubting I ever truly will
I feel as a hollow puppet
empty
unreal
paralyzed
impotent
yet I break from my silken string in the moment I hear you
will I have a leg to stand on
would you help me up
if my wooden legs cause me to clatter to the loam
or will I go unnoticed once again
and return to the earth from whence I came
yet I rend the strands from my carved flesh
the instant you show
the stars send light from realms unknown
to die in my undeserving eyes
which only see you
but I do not dare ask the same
for fear I should find myself
again
unnoticed
One star glows bright beyond the others
I wish a wish
with every frozen fiber of my soul
I wish simply
only for you to have all you desire yours
The blackness grows evermore dense
insinuating yet another slumber
filled with compassionate images
of your blessed countenance
the very thought of you
banishes the chill
makes my sacrifice honorable
cuts a string
brings me peace
helps me understand
soothes my soul
grants my wish
lights my way
whispers my words
if only for a moment
