Tarentella
SCENE ONE(The curtain opens on CHRIS’s bedroom in the evening. The light is off. It is spare, a double bed that is twice as big as it needs to be, a dresser stage left with a mirror that is framed by photos, a window on the right wall, a door on the left wall that leads to the bathroom. There is a small stand with a television to the right. Above the bed there is a framed picture of CHRIS, smiling with people surrounding her. Chris, still dressed nicely from the day that is ending, is sitting on the bed writing something in a notebook. She is sad, but very calm. Suddenly, she loudly tears the paper out of her notebook and seems startled by the sound. She folds the paper messily and places it on her pillow. She crosses to her dresser and looks at herself hard in the mirror. She removes a photo from the mirror, crumbles it in her hand and places it on top of the dresser. She opens one of the top drawers of the dresser, removes some underwear to get to a gun. She takes this out and holds it tentatively. She opens her mouth and places the gun within slowly. She makes a displeased face as though the gun tastes bad and enters bathroom door with the gun.)
(After a few moments of silence, off stage, whispering to himself) There’s nothing to worry about. I’ll be in and out in ten minutes. No problem.
(Window breaks. Dan reaches inside, unlocks the window, and lifts the empty frame. Dan enters the still dark apartment. He begins to case the bedroom, looking for valuables. After a moment, Chris exits the bathroom wiping the gun barrel with a tissue. She stops abruptly, noticing the man staring at her, and points the weapon at Dan.)
(Frightened) Who are you?
(Dan reaches for and draws a knife at his side. He stands like a cobra about to strike. He points the knife at Chris, though they are on opposite sides of the bed and he clearly cannot reach her.)
(Confidently) Put the gun down and no one will get hurt. You don’t want to get hurt, right?
(Chris moves to put the gun down and then realizes her position. She raises the gun back to Dan.)
No! What are you doing in my apartment?
(Still confidently but slower.) I’m just going to leave quietly now. No trouble, right?
(Dan moves toward the window, but Chris raises the gun menacingly.)
No one is going anywhere, all right? We’re just gonna sort a few things out first… (After a beat and honestly curious:) What did you steal?
(Calmly) Nothing yet. (Motioning with his knife) I was going to take the TV.
(After a tense moment) Fine, I don’t care. Take it and go. Please.
(She lowers the gun, but keep it in her grip. Dan stares at her, not knowing what to expect. Dan grabs the TV tentatively and turns to go, but is stopped by Chris.)
Wait! If you are stealing my valuables, don’t forget this. (She hands him her suicide note. He starts to open it, but she stops him.) Read it outside! Not now. (Dan is visibly confused by this and starts to go again but stops before he gets to the window.)
(Irritated) Why are you still here?
There's glass, I don't want to hurt my feet.
(Disappointed:) Oh. Fine.
(Curiously, turning back to her) Why d’you got a gun?
(Derisively) Protection from people breaking in my apartment and stealing my television.
Nah, that’s not what I mean. You had the gun when you walked in on me.
Walked in on you? It’s my apartment. And I still have the gun. And you’re still here!
(Serious) You were gonna kill yourself. That's your shade of lipstick on the barrel.
(Startled) Where do you get off? I was going to kill myself? Where do you get that from?
Were you?
(Chris turns her back on Dan, to hide her reaction, but then seems a little frightened to have her back to him.)
(quietly) Maybe.
Could you wait until I leave? Give me a five minute headstart?
(Stunned) Wha... what did you say?
Give me a few minutes to get away from here before you try to kill yourself.
I'm not trying to kill myself. I'm going to kill myself.
Right, that's nice. So are you going to give me a few minutes before you fire some shot into the air for attention, attracting all your neighbors?
This isn't a cry for attention! I want to die! And if you step outside that window, I'll do it.
I thought you were going to do it anyway. Someone breaking into your house shouldn't stop you. That is, if you were actually going to shoot yourself. Which you aren't.
(She lowers the gun indignantly) How can you be so damned sure I'm not?
Simple fact of life. Chicks don't use guns. Chicks take a bunch of sleeping pills or drink drano. The braver ones slit their wrists in the bathtub so they don't leave much of a mess. Guns though? Guys use guns.
Don't you stereotype me! I'm not a "chick," I'm a woman.
Uh-huh. Can I go?
Yeah, get the hell out of here! (She points the gun at him)
Just so we are crystal clear here, I step out that window and you...?
Die.
(Resigned, puts down the television. Sits on TV.) Fuck. What is it you want?
To stop living. To die. To sleep perchance to dream. To shuffle off this mortal coil and take a dirt nap. Are you dense? I'm trying to kill myself!
Let me see your wrists. (Chris thrusts the bare arm not bearing arms toward Dan for inspection. He approaches and she directs the gun toward him. He looks over her wrist for a little while.) These are baby scars! They're barely scrapes. You aren't suicidal.
Don't you tell me what I am! I'm the girl with the gun and I am going to use it!
Why?
(A little desperately.) You have my TV… Why don’t you go off and buy drugs or whatever? Go off and shoot up. I don’t care. I’m sure my TV will buy you some nice crack.
(Suppressing a laugh) You don’t shoot crack. And I would go, except some crazy girl is playing with a nasty looking toy. Besides, I'm not into drugs. Too damn cliche to break into houses looking to hock stuff for drugs.
Why are you holding my TV then?
I seem to recall you telling me to take it. Anyway, never mind what I'm gonna do with it.
No, what? You break into my home and steal from me, you don’t get to tell me not to mind.
(After a pause and looking at the floor.) My brother needs to get into a hospital and…
(Acerbically) And you figured threatening people with knife would cure him?
You’d be surprised. You can make a lot of flow in one night if you’re not stupid.
(Sarcastically) That’s real nice. I hope you sleep well tonight... (Curious) Why does your brother need to go into the hospital?
I told you that's not your business.
Let's pretend it is, okay? What's wrong with your brother that my TV can fix?
The bastard keeps cutting himself. Thinks self-destruction is a cute way to get people to listen to what he has to say.
(Defensive) Maybe that's the only way he can tell the world how he feels...
That's not how I see it. Way I see it, trying to destroy yourself gives a pretty clear message and it's not a pretty one. Sounds a bit like, "I'm too self-centered to be constructive so I have to open a vein to..."
(Cutting him off) Just shut up! You have no idea what this is like...
No? I steal televisions and stereos. I live in a shitty house with my jack-off family. But you don't see me pointing weapons at myself.
I saw you point one at me.
That's different. And I wouldn't have used it. Probably. I wouldn't now.
Wow, that really ruined the Hallmark moment we weren't having. And much as I would like to justify myself to a lowlife, I think it's about time for you to go.
Finally!
(takes cell phone from her pocket and dial) Hello? Police? (Pause) Someone broke into my house. I have him at gunpoint. (Pause) No, he’s not armed. (Pause and she throws a contemptuous glare at Dan.) Yeah, I’m safe. (Pause) Yeah, Main Street, Apartment 8C. Big brick building across from the Starbucks. Thanks. (hangs up the phone)
Why the hell did you do that?!
Guess I'm just too damned self-centered to be constructive.
And if I just dash for the window?
I shoot. You first, then me.
You know they have hotlines?
I don't want to talk to some screwed-up stranger about how living sucks.
So I'm just supposed to sit here and wait?
Pretty much, dick.
My name is Dan.
(Pointing her gun as though she were extending her hand to shake) Chris. The pleasure is mine, I'm sure.
(They sit for a moment and it is suddenly very awkward)
Do you mind telling me why you are going to kill yourself? I mean, the cops will take a few more minutes to get here since you said you are in no immediate danger and all.
I gave you my note, read it.
(Dan picks up the paper which has fallen to the ground)
(Reading) "I, Chris... The pain is so great... depths of the void... going to a better world... Better this way..." Fairly standard, that. "Consign my soul to a god that can't exist... Enternal peace in death." I've read worse.
Read worse? This is my last earthly thoughts and all you can say is that you have read worse?
What do you expect me to say? That this little scrap of paper justifies what you want to do? It doesn't. It can't.
(Breaking up) It isn't worth it, don't you get that? This isn't some plea for attention, this is the last night of my life. This is the first time in years I have been in control of my destiny.
Don't romanticize death like that! Death isn't Brad Pitt in a tux. Death doesn't give you control over anything. Death ends your control.
It's inevitable. I'm going to die. We all are eventually. I am just deciding when. We're all suicides in the end.
If you're gonna die anyway, why choose tonight?
(crying) Because it hurts so much and it doesn't make sense.(Raises the gun.)
I don’t see why you should be dead. My asshole brother keeps stabbing himself, but I’m not gonna let him die. Even with a gun pointed at my head, you are a lot nicer to be around. (He looks down to Chris who sneers at his reasoning.) And you want to tell me or we wouldn’t be having this little tete-a-tete.
(Chris stands up suddenly. Dan edges back slightly. She begins to pace, but not look at him.)
(Confessing) You are the first guy I’ve spoken more than three sentences to in months. (Dan looks at her, expecting more. Chris paces until she notes his silence.) I can’t live so totally alone. Like, I see people every day and they are bundled up in these little couples. It’s not romantic, it’s just… they have someone who understands. (Turns to Dan) Even you have your brother who you are willing to commit crimes for.
I’m sorry.
(Sadly) I don’t really have a family. I mean, I do but I might as well not. I only hear from them at Christmas when my mom sends me a sweater from the Gap. I haven’t had a friend since high school. Fucking high school! There isn’t a picture over there of a person older than eighteen and not a single one of them cares enough to call me now.
It doesn’t mean you have to die.
Beats living a daily life of slow death. So, one squeeze...
After that squeeze you still might be alone, in a box, forever.
And life is a constant indignity in larger boxes. (Coming slightly undone.) I want it to end. I choose to die now. (Chris takes the gun out of her pocket and looks at it carefully. Dan moves toward her slowly.)
No! Life sucks sometimes. You think I want to be breaking windows and stealing televisions? Fuck no. But I do because that is my life right now. It’s not easy. Killing yourself isn’t gonna be easy.
I’m pretty sure I can put a bullet in my head successfully.
Because you’re lonely? And dying is better? Leaving the party just as it’s starting? I don’t think so. You still got things to live for. I… I personally don’t want you to die because I think… I think the world is a little better with you in it. And I just met you. So I don’t think I can be the only one…
(She looks at him with tears in her eyes and starts to lower the gun. He seems visibly relieved. She raises the gun again.)
"The world is better with me in it"? Is that the best you can do? This is the point where throw down the gun and have this revelation that suicide's wrong, that life's worth living and everything'll be okay? That’s why this little tete-a-tete, as you put it, doesn’t work. (slowly) ‘Cause I just don’t buy it.
Nobody buys it. That’s not why you go on.
(Sincerely) Why then?
Because things’ll change. You’ll change.
(From off stage, sirens are heard.)
What about right now?
Right now, you wait. A beat. Walking toward the window) I guess I’ll go and meet the cops. I hear they like it when you turn yourself in.
There’s no need. I didn’t really call the cops.
(Startled) Why not?
I guess I have a fear of commitment.
(A pause) So... let's put off your death for tonight. It's not too late.
(Drying her tears) Fine. But I'll probably shoot myself tomorrow.
Fine with me.
Good... Can I meet your brother?
Maybe tomorrow.
(fade to black)
