Make It Spin Again
Xen's journal entry made me feel very loved, and kind of melancholy but not in a bad way. More so appreciative of that which I have then melancholy.I miss him. I want to be with him tonight and if its not snowing when I return home with my father i will certainly come to him.
The world is busy standing still for me right now and I seem to be doing all that I can in order to make it spin again. (perhaps if I go outside and run really fast?) Sometimes everything feels completely fine. It feels like there is nothing wrong with any of this or with anyone and then i begin to think... Sometimes still it stays at bay as if my body refuses to acknowledge anything that could be wrong, but there are other times that this feels like an overwhelming and crushing experience that will grind me up between its cogs and spit me out. (speaking of a wont to be overdramatic) I need to go take care of householdy things like food shopping but I will likely see Xen tonight though I know not at what time. I love him and thank him again.
