Xenex Book of Shadows
Because defense against the dark arts is bollocks
Top Ten Reasons Why Witches Don't Worship Satan
- Scorch marks on the furniture whenever Satan manifests.
- Not even Lysol can mask the smell of brimstone.
- Hard to keep the flaming goat skulls lit.
- Decreased availability of blonde virgins.
- Blood stains from the sacrifices are impossible to get out of the carpet.
- Wailing of the damned souls in Hell keeps the neighbors awake.
- The cats keep attacking Satan's tail, which annoys him.
- Repeated stooping motions for administering the "Kiss of Shame" difficult on the older coven members.
- Demons smell even worse than brimstone.
- Impossible to worship something that doesn't exist!
