Stone Age

So it's the recession and, at the moment, it seems those with my specific qualifications (an English degree) have not yet been called to helm the battleship of social change. But that's all right. It has given me time to relax. If relaxing is that thing you do where you worry obsessively about your future and wonder how you will ever make it into that echelon of people who have ludicrous amounts of money and yet still pretend to be humble while drinking liquid platinum (because you can, and gold was so Midas).

I worry about this almost all the time. What will I have for breakfast? Hmmm... maybe it is to fatting. Won't be able to be fat when I am famous, might as well start now. Or at least I would if I could ever get over my fears of the daily life long enough to consider the worries of my fictitious life (If I had it planned out -- which I don't! -- I would be a combination Oscar winner/recording artist with super powers. I could control the weather like Storm and I would make it hail every time the Pope did a Hail Mary. But since I'm not sure if he speaks English, the joke might be lost on him.)

What I do worry about is how, even with all the technological advantages I take for granted, I can still barely do anything. There was a Stone Age and it was not my college years. People hit things with stones and then they cooked with stones and then they most likely gave their best friends BFF stones and so on. HOW? HOW DID THEY EVER MAKE IT? You know those Spartan babies that died in those pools of water? I am that part of the gene pool. That part that does not do well in ice or other adverse circumstances, like hunting and gathering. Between fighting off tigers and bears and food shortages, how did any Stone Age people ever even have sex? I mean, I spend half my day concerned that they may think I am small. Or that the motion of this ocean will induce sea sickness -- or that they are not going to like banana flavor or that I've got chlamydia -- to ever even have good sex. It's a scary world. But it's not nearly as terrifying as how it use to be. Granted, they had large scary mammals that eviscerated you but, in reality, that is quite similar to the public school system, only more hygienic. I have become so accustomed to this lavish and decadent lifestyle, even if I am hella unemployed, that I forget just how good I have it. So I don't have a job, and the crazy cat lady idea just turned out to be crazy. No biggie, I still know that the world is round and that a lot more then my Stone Aged friends did. The world is my oyster and, thanks to public broadcasting, I can learn about how it is my oyster for free.

So this week, it's been all about appreciating the small things, like indoor plumbing and the indoors. Reminding myself that humans have come a long way and that, if my great-great-great-great- (you get the idea) grandmother and father could cook and clean in a cave, not to mention bone and propagate the species, I can probably apply to a few more jobs and learn to take this time to actually relax a little.