Thomm Quackenbush, author

Onlytherightanswers.com

I love the Special Olympics. Now don't get me wrong, I hate the idea of competitive sports providing instantaneous role models who promptly behave like children, gazing towards us with a look of immature greed in their eyes. The Special Olympics, however, is different. There's a sense of majestic satisfaction watching as an incoherent blob of human mass manages to limp along, accomplishing nothing besides the smile that crosses my face. I'm kidding, of course. I love the retarded and, as it stands, the internet brims with sites dedicated to the mentally retarded. They don't realize they're special, it just happens. Since my life is all about getting a smile at the expense of others, I thought I'd take the time out of my life to display these special works created by special people.

Onlytherightanswers.com seeks to provide all the right answers in our modern world of insanity, while implementing the longest example of misuse of the space bar ever. Alas, this is no easy task, however with a staff of one and all the ability to cut and paste the most insane articles, this site is on its way to accomplishing absolutely nothing except reaching religious nutcases convinced that the 5th dimension is love. Does that sound insane? Good, then we're off to a good start.

Welcome to Justify Your Crap University. Do you want a degree in one of our various subjects? Enrollment is easy and you'll be a better person for mashing religion into every subject. Don't believe me? Try a bit of history.

"In contrast with the theist and peaceful American Revolution, the French Revolution was atheist, neo-pagan and extremely violent."
As a certified history buff, I feel it necessary to support this claim. In fact, the American Revolution never happened. Instead of fighting, the combatants held impromptu orgies dedicated to kismet while circling about counterclockwise speaking German. That's why we have Labor Day.

"In fact, a world without religion actually brought them to an unhappy end. The hippy leaders of the 1960s either killed themselves or died from drug-induced comas in the early 1970s."
Last time I checked, some random nutcase shot John Lennon in 1980, but in fairness, the bullet was composed of crack.

Let's listen to some fantastic end of the world crazy talk.

"In exactly 7 years (at the end of the Great Mayan Calander), we will all be entering into the Age of Light - AKA - The Age Of Aquarius."
Didn't some dirty drugged out atheist write a song about The Age Of Aquarius? I am so confused.

"Honestly, what chance of remaining on the planet when it goes from 3rd dimension (physical) to 5th dimension (love) do people who have very little love in their hearts really have of being able to successfully adapt to all the changes? Not very much if you ask me."
It's Care Bear stare time. If everyone believes, we can do it. We can do it all night long. Worst film reference ever. I don't want to talk about it anymore, my head hurts. It's a good thing I have some of these: little, yellow, different...

"Imagine the charkas in your feet opening and deep brown roots forming and going into the centre of Mother Earth. Then take your awareness to your heart centre, and start to focus your mind on the beautiful golden pyramid with pink, as in the picture above. You will start slowly to feel these energies. Remember everyone is different, and so it is possible to receive these energies in a variety of different ways."
So what did we learn? Sometimes answers are downright tough to come across. Yep, it sure is hot today, hot yesterday too. It might have something to do with the end of the world that happens to be right around the corner. Not that corner, the other one. The best thing for you to do right now is develop psychic powers and hope your ability to bend spoons comes in handy.

Your Moment of Insanity:

"Eventually you will have to choose. Jeffrey Dommer chose. Hitler chose. Budha chose. Mother Terresa chose. You cannot remain Grey (In the middle) forever."
Wait I saw this in a film. I want to drink from the cup made of wood. Anything else turns you to dust.

Don't Believe Me Ask The Dishes

Onlytherightanswers.com


Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.



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Works by Thomm Quackenbush

The Night's Dream Series

We Shadows by Thomm Quackenbush

Danse Macabre by Thomm Quackenbush

Artificial Gods by Thomm Quackenbush