Thomm Quackenbush, author

Inappropriate Use of Public Domain Pictures 15

Father, I would like you to meet Harold. He's the giant talking hippopotamus you've heard so much about.

Please to meet you, sir. I look forward to crashing through your bed and having a meal of your head later this evening. This would be after I ravage your human daughter, of course. Perhaps we will break open your room and make a show in front of your bed.

Call me Mr. Lockwood. You managed to pull yourself away from your practice long enough to attend one of my functions, my daughter must be having quite the influence on you. Samantha, you look like an angel. If your mother were here, she'd be so proud of the woman that you've become.

Yes, sir, I find your daughter quite the dish. I enjoy swallowing her and feeling her squirm as she attempts to escape the taverns that my innards create. She almost didn't make it to this evening even, lucky she was able to cling to my teeth and emerge wet with my stomach juices. Some would say this is a setback, I see it as a visitation of Karma. One more night with the only link you have to your deceased wife.

He is quite the charmer. When you told me you were dating a giant hippopotamus, I assumed it was for the sole purpose of his freakish sixteen-inch penis.

Eighteen INCHES!


Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.



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Works by Thomm Quackenbush

Anthologies

Find What You Love and Let It Kill You by Thomm Quackenbush
Pagan Standard Times: Essays on the Craft by Thomm Quackenbush
A Creature Was Stirring: A Twisted Christmas Anthology by Thomm Quackenbush
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