Thomm Quackenbush, author

Inappropriate Use of Public Domain Pictures 11

Hey, buddy, how's the soup? I hope you like it, I added some ham. You love ham. You look very handsome in that little sweater. You would've loved to hear my conversation with the woman when I described you as a husky kitty.

Why are you doing this to me?

It's chilly; you should really wear a sweater and have soup when it gets chilly.

I'm... I'm a fucking cat. We don't wear sweaters and we don't eat soup. That's beside the point; you've been looking at me weird lately. Now you either have some bad news or you're planning on leaving again.

Well, now that you mention it.

Oh, here we fucking go again.


Where to this time?

Going back out to Massachusetts, it'll be different this time.

Are you Colin Hay? Are you waiting for your life to begin? Do you really think it'll be different out there? It won't. What are you going to do, how are you going to make a living? Who is going to provide me with the pets I need.

Not sure, haven't figured that out. I've always been good at falling into things, you know that.

You're going to get another cat, aren't you?

No, once I get myself settled, I'll figure out a way to get you out there. You'll love Massachusetts; everything just runs a bit slower out there, it's simple. The people out there really are nice; I mean, it's nothing to start a conversation with a perfect stranger.

You'll never see me again.

Don't talk like that.

You whored yourself to others... you're an animal whore. Do I have to bring up the others?

Mishu and Pockets were not my idea. I was told that your adjustment to a new apartment might be a little difficult. I was dating someone who had relations in the animal field, I figured she knew best.

Watch. In six months, you'll have a little kitten and you'll put up pictures of it wearing various Red Sox garb. The Red Sox suck, you know. Go Yankees.

You don't mean that.

I'm worried about you, dad.

I know that. I get worried too, sometimes. It's like there's no focus in my life. I've spent years putting all I am into other people, and, well, in that process I've never learned about me. This is my chance to do that. It's been a bad year, Omen, but I try not to put that on other people. I just sat down and drew it out; it was just a really bad year. I need to make changes.

You can do that here.

I could, but then I would be lying to myself. In another six months, I'd be back at this point.

So you throw away everything you love for something new?

Omen, please.

This is not rational.

The people in my life are great, but my life is wrong. I owe it to them to make my life a little less complicated. I owe it to myself. I was happy once, or maybe I wasn't. I don't really remember. Lately, I feel like bad news to the people around me. This is a chance to get everything straightened out.

I'm going to miss you.

I know, buddy. I know.

Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.

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Works by Thomm Quackenbush

The Night's Dream Series

We Shadows by Thomm Quackenbush

Danse Macabre by Thomm Quackenbush

Artificial Gods by Thomm Quackenbush