As expected, we have the Kennedy's Champion Biscuit team off to a quick start.
Well, Bill, they do have the advantage of having another child on their sled.
If you sponsor the event, you get the make the rules. Now we had James try the course before and he said the first turn was a bit icy on the right side. We're going to see the racers lean to the left for it.
They'll want to do that to some degree. If they venture too far left, they'll activate the flamethrowers.
You really need to read the course notes.
A barrel of flames and, my god, the lead sled is burning as it continues the descent down the slope. The children are trying in vain to escape the flaming pile of wood and wax, but they seem unable to remove themselves from the sled. This is madness.
As per the rules of the course, the children were stapled to the sled. We have the Pillsbury team coming to the turn, and, simply amazing, they avoid the flamethrowers. Young William Hills is the lead on that sled, a sharp lad he was eyeing that grand prize of a warm meal.
What type of madman made this sport?
No one cares about orphans.
The Kennedy sled has come to a rest on turn number two, the children still attached are screamingly wildly darting their arms out for some release to the excruciating pain they are in. Why hasn't someone put an end to this?
They have come to a stop at exactly the wrong spot, Bill. Right, here we go, the canisters have begun to rise from the ground.
My god, there's a cone of red flame coming from the Kennedy sled.
That would be the gasoline cannons. It's just another factor in the race today.
They're using the still-smoldering bodies of children as fuel to create a giant fire pillar. The second sled is veering wildly to avoid this, but, no, they are caught in the plume of destruction.
It appears there is one survivor from the Kennedy sled, although, through the smoke and charred skin, it is impossible to tell who. This brave child has latched onto the collar of William Hills and is preventing his continued descent.
If you're going to die in a bath of flames, you might as well take someone with you.
Thank God, the Quality Baked Goods team is stuck at the start. If there's anything good about this day, it is that those children will survive.
Not necessarily. It's a pity for them that the three minute marks begins the descent of the blades.
If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.