Thomm Quackenbush, author

Inappropriate Use of Public Domain Pictures 08

Charles, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?

Of course, Gregory. We are friends after all, what are we here for?

I want you to dart your tongue between my teeth.

Pardon?

Do it. Do it and tell me how small my penis is.

Gregory, I donít know if you have a small penis. Itís an average size, actually.

No, you stupid bitch, tell me how small it is. Tell me how it resembles an eye dropper when I prematurely ejaculate and turn into a weeping shadow of my childhood. Damn it all, Iíve never asked anything of you, and Iíve been a good friend.

You have, you have.

Now tell me about my penis, the one that has yet to change from the one I had when I was six. Tell me how it dangles between my legs like a flake of excrement. Laugh and point as you would to a child who wet himself in a public place. Make me feel like less of a man, damn it.

Why would I do this, again?

Well, good sir, you are doing this so that I can ejaculate my shame on my pants and paint my face with a look of disgust. My friends are dirty penis mockers, but they are right to ridicule my manhood. It is my private shame.

I am not sure this is healthy.

It doesnít have to be healthy, itís a medical fucking fact. Iím a pervert. Iím a pervert with a small penis that needs to be shown with the light of judgment.


Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.



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Works by Thomm Quackenbush

Anthologies

Find What You Love and Let It Kill You by Thomm Quackenbush
Pagan Standard Times: Essays on the Craft by Thomm Quackenbush
A Creature Was Stirring: A Twisted Christmas Anthology by Thomm Quackenbush
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