Spiderman: No problem, Mr. President. Just let me know if you ever need help again, I'll get the Avengers to hook you up with a communicator. I mean, you'll have to deal with the occasional three in the morning rambling from Hawkeye, but other than that it's cool. So what's next on the agenda?
Obama: I've gotten quite the job ahead of me. I mean, there's this recession, health care, fighting two wars, and a host of other domestic issues. It's going to be an interesting four years.
Spiderman: Well, best of luck to you, sir, you've got most of the hero community behind you.
Obama: Well, if there's anything you ever want, let me know.
Spiderman: They all say that.
Obama: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
Spiderman: Damn it, you're like all the others, aren't you?
Obama: I ran on a platform of change.
Spiderman: Maybe you intended change, but intending something and actually doing it are two separate things.
Obama: I just took office, Spiderman.
Spiderman: And look at that, I'm pulling your ass out of the fire already. That's not the issue, though. Maybe I feel a little disenfranchised with the whole political thing. I mean, you happen to be the third guy who I saved who promised the world and, well, here I am.
Obama: I'm different, Spiderman. How can I prove this to you?
Spiderman: It's stupid, forget I said anything.
Obama: Just spit it out, son.
Spiderman: I want you to sign an executive order calling for the murder of Moon Knight.
Obama: Wait, what?
Spiderman: See, this is what I'm talking about, fucking broken promises. You talk about change, I want you to murder Moon Knight; hell, sign the order and I'll hunt him down myself.
Obama: Why would you want to kill Moon Knight?
Spiderman: Because, Mr. President -- and I mean this with all due respect to the team that created him -- he sucks. Seriously, he's a low rent Batman with a personality disorder.
Obama: Maybe I could make a call to Marvel get him off the shelves for a few months.
Spiderman: That never works! I mean, they cancel it and eventually some would-be writer dusts him off and, shit, we're stuck with him again. Besides They Who Will Not Be Named owns us all now. I'll probably be in a musical before you know it.
Obama: It was a smart move for Disney to buy Marvel. It diversifies their line.
Spiderman: No, it takes a company that had lost its way and pumps tons of stupid money into it. I'm literally afraid to see what they come up with next.
Obama: Marvel and Disney will make sure nothing crazy happens.
Spiderman: "The Super Hero Squad Show"! Have you seen that shit? You know what? Forget it. Maybe the next guy will really be about change.
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