Thomm Quackenbush, author

Inappropriate Comic Book Splash Pages 4

Hello dear viewers and welcome to Edgar Allen Poe's Mystery Theater. Behold the wonder of mystic nature as we explore the darkened corners of the human mind. I have a special yarn for you today; it involves love and human advancement in the wilds of Alaska.

Meet Mr. Andrew Waller, age 35 and a candlestick maker by trade. From New York originally, he came to these wild lands in search of a new life filled with adventure. He found it. Andrew Waller is dying, and for the moment that's all you need to know. Let's begin our story.

Mom, I want you to meet Jennifer. She's sleeping.

My God, Cloud, she's dead.

She's just been so tired lately. She works so hard at her job.

I'm going to take a step back here.

Oh Elizabeth, I want to see your pretty face. I want to touch your lips; I want to feel your warm embrace.

Don't know if I could ever live my life without you. Oh Elizabeth, I'm sure missing you. Jimmy Fortune is the best tenor in the world.

I'm going to come back with some friends, okay, Cloud?

The Swamp keeps her fresh! DO DO DO DO Sephiroth.

Hello, Morten Harket, it's been a while. Try not to move, you had a bit of an accident. I can rebuild you, if you choose, make you stronger. The pipe wrench is mystical, given to me by a Native American Shaman.

Being human is about choice Mr. Harket. You chose to come to my apartment. Maybe it was some sense of forgiveness that brought you in. This was a mistake. I've long cast off the inhibitions of being human. I am a mighty wind of judgment.

I told you to stay away from my magic frame! You chose not to, therefore I choose to tap the back of your skull. Have a pleasant beating at the end of your life.

Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.

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