Thomm Quackenbush, author

Idaho Transfer

Normally, I'd open my review with a quip or a funny story about Idaho, but alas, Idaho -- like this movie -- is void of anything remotely entertaining. So on with the show.

Humanity screwed Mother Nature. Well, duh tell me something I didn't know. Deep in the foothills of the nuclear wasteland of Idaho, a group of teenage scientist has developed a time machine. Apparently, in the future, the United States is recovering from a crisis of some sort and by studying the wasteland, which is the American West, this group hopes to rebuild humanity in the future. The military hates the idea of not having a time machine and, under the threat of complete takeover, the researchers escape into the future. Strangers in a strange time, the researchers learn the world is a horrible place devoid of human life besides the inbred mentally handicapped. Therefore, it's just like Idaho. A cute side note to the whole time traveling system is that it makes you sterile.

Normally, I'd have some kind of cute remark about the movie and together we'd share a laugh or two at the creative attempt. However, Idaho Transfer, like anything in the world, has one person who actually defends the film as a courageous attempt. Picking up a grenade to save your friends is a courageous attempt. The act itself is still stupid. This unnamed reviewer goes on to claim that anyone who does not like this film obviously does not get it. What's to get? Sure, people run around in their underwear sprouting about the environment, but a good movie this does not make.

I own this movie, you shouldn't. Seriously, if this review makes you want to run out and buy this piece of eco trash, then just save the rest of us the trouble and never procreate because if you do I'll make it a point to make my kids bully yours.

Your Moment of Insanity:

Some are so retarded they can't even find food for themselves, but others give them enough to get by.

You Should Look Out For:

  1. In the future, society descends into a world of mentally handicapped or red states, for those people who love Fox News.
  2. Remember to take off all clothes and outerwear before entering the time machine. Did I mention I'm a time machine? Okay, get naked.
  3. Hippies always want something for nothing. I quote the masterpiece The Sore Losers: "Ass or grass, no one rides for free."
  4. They use the mentally retarded as a source of fuel in the future. Did I just ruin the surprise ending? Shoot, you'll just have to read a book instead.
  5. People from the future will come back to the past and steal your lunch.

Did You Know:

Peter Fonda directed the film. I have a cat. WEEEEEEEEE

A Stevehenish Tagline:

I have five bucks, who wants to get some people naked?

We're Killing the Environment

  1. The Towering Inferno
  2. Titanic
  3. Purple Rain

Words Thrown Together in Hopes of Pulling in Random Google Users

"A Vacation in Idaho"


Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.



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Works by Thomm Quackenbush

Anthologies

Find What You Love and Let It Kill You by Thomm Quackenbush
Pagan Standard Times: Essays on the Craft by Thomm Quackenbush
A Creature Was Stirring: A Twisted Christmas Anthology by Thomm Quackenbush
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On B&N
At Double Dragon