Thomm Quackenbush, author

The Ten Questions Every Atheist Must Be Able to Answer

I have never asked a Christian or any other religious person to justify their faith to me. It's just nothing that ever came up in a conversation. On the other hand, I know I am a bit of an anomaly. People have questions and the Internet is filled with various people of faith trying to convert us to their team. It's flattering, really, I feel like a medium priced lefty reliever. So here we have ten questions I must be able to answer. If I don't, well, I suppose I'll have to become a Christian... again... man, the pressure is amazing.

Why are we here on Earth?

As opposed to floating about the cosmos on magical brooms? Earth, oddly enough, has everything we need to exist on it. If tomorrow we were given the choice of Earth or a giant hot dog capable of supporting human life, I would choose the hot dog. I would then bomb the Earth, dodging the counterstrike missiles thanks to our vastly superior flying hot dog dexterity.

What is the purpose of life?

Well, my life is about waking up, going to work. Enjoying the things I enjoy. Caring about the people I care about. Your life might have another purpose. Not my place to say. Do I wake up every day hurtling towards some unseen goal? Likely not, I mean the idea seems a bit silly almost. If my life were centered on the idea that on February 14th in the year 2013, I must be in a certain spot to save an old lady from getting hit by a truck that seems a bit unfair to me. All my dreams, all the effort placed in my life is not. Those people I love, the ones I've lost don't matter. All that matters is that I am there to push that old lady out of the way. For the record, I plan on sitting in my house on February 14th, 2013 laughing manically.

If intelligent design and the Bible aren't correct, then how did humans end up being the masters of every other species on Earth? Why didn't bears or deer or trout or monkeys or tigers or dogs or squirrels develop intelligence and the ability to speak in thousands of different languages and the ability to build solid structures and the ability to civilize and the ability to master any environmental challenge? Also, where did government come from? You don't need to answer that one, all historians know the Bible is correct historically, even about Noah's flood due to recent archaeological evidence. So government was formed by the people of Israel. If no God, they created on based on... Nothing?

We are the masters of animals? Did I miss the meeting? Okay, since we're the masters of wildlife, let's take you and a hungry bear and put you in a cage. Using your mastery over the animal kingdom, you should be able to ride the thing to freedom. I believe anyone who has been attacked by an animal would disagree with this question, but I digress.

Recent archaeological evidence that does not fucking exist aside, I think I could find some historians that don't think the Bible is a historically accurate text. Also Government was not created by the people of Israel and the whole question seems a bit silly when it's laid out.

If the universe was entirely empty space except for a small mass of matter that created the universe by spontaneously exploding and steadily expanding throughout empty space... What caused that small mass of matter to explode?

Not a physicist. I don't have the answer. However if I place a Mentos in a bottle of Pepsi, I don't proclaim God. I don't know how it happened, but it did happen. We didn't flicker to life from a rib only to eat an apple given to us by a talking snake. That idea takes biology and makes it little more than turning rock into gold.

Have you ever seen the beauty of a newborn child in his/her mother's arms? In that moment, did you not experience the feeling that My gosh, there really is a God?

Yes to the first part, no to the second part. In fairness, I've seen some cute kittens being licked by their mother and some nice hamburgers on various plates. The good things in life do not equate to the existence of God. Consequently, the negative things in life do not equate to the devil. If I have a bad day at work, I stop myself short of blaming the demons.

If God was created by mankind as an explanation for life and the events that make it up and mankind is by nature evil, as Rousseau said, why didn't mankind worship themselves or a power of evil?

I believe God created us in his image. That's in the Bible. So in the source written by man, we wrote about a God that made us in his image. So in a way we did create a God we could worship. God is not a giant turnip. He could very well be a giant evil turnip that I do not know.

If God was invented by humans, then why do so many Biblical stories involve his punishment of humans that went astray? Wouldn't humans rather create a God that allows them to get away with whatever they want?

People wouldn't listen to a God that was all rainbows and sunshine. Religion needs fear, a sense of control. A vengeful God provides this as does Ghost Rider. Not saying Ghost Rider is god.

If Jesus really wasn't the Son of God, and he didn't really rise from the dead 3 days after his crucifixion, why did a group of men and women that had been hiding in an attic for those 3 days suddenly come out and start preaching about this man in a way that they were willing to suffer gruesome deaths for? (And don't give me anything about mankind needing an explanation in their minds, any simple "explanation" would be quickly dropped when a man is about to be sawed in two, stoned, crucified, burnt alive, or beheaded.)

Because Christianity is a religion and people tend to spread their religious views amongst other people. Well, with the exception of the Quakers. It didn't work out very well for them though, just saying.

You say God doesn't exist. Why does each person have a conscience then? Why does every person have a knowledge deep within them of right and wrong?

I call this the "man with a gun" theory. If I go out today and commit a crime, a man with a gun will come and stop me. Hell, the man I'm committing the crime against might have a gun. I hate guns.

Also keep in mind, people have different standards of right and wrong. I mean there are people in this country who kill abortion doctors and think nothing of it. Hell, some circles actually embrace these people, they hold up a book saying that it is okay. So your morals are based on a book of violence, incest and various other bumps in the night. I don't have such a book.

The fact that I'm not running about murdering people must scare the hell out of you.

What happens to us after we die? (I don't mean our physical body, I know that decomposes back to the dust (another phrase out of the Bible) but I mean to who the person is.)

We are remembered by those who loved us. The good things we did live on, but eventually fade away. It's a horrifying thought, isn't it?

Stevehen J. Warren is a trained professional in dealing with the crap society churns out. If possible, do not attempt to engage any crap you may find. He mocks it so you don't have to.

If you have a movie, picture, website, friend, game, book, fan fiction, or toilet you would like me to see, or crap all over, please inform your friendly webmaster and include your name and the name of the crappee. The numbers are open and we have trained professionals waiting to receive your call.

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Works by Thomm Quackenbush

The Night's Dream Series

We Shadows by Thomm Quackenbush

Danse Macabre by Thomm Quackenbush

Artificial Gods by Thomm Quackenbush