Thomm Quackenbush, author

Dearest Zackilicious One,
Why do people see UFOs and ghosts? Is this how god mocks and confuses us?
-Unnaturnally Fond Oddball

"Like flies to wanton boys are we to the gods, they kill us for their sport." -King Lear

Dear long name,
Having never met an alien or a ghost, nor ever once getting to talk to god, I feel that I am the perfect person to answer such a question. Here it goes: I believe that the answer to this can be found if one analyzes the kind of people who regularly see an alien or a ghost, and I mean regularly, like weekly, most of these people have a common characteristic... they are nuts. So is this god trying to mock us? No, not us, just the crazies of the world.

To have your terribly important or vaguely witty question answered, ask the wind. Zack gave up on this column. Yeah, sorry.

Ask Zack is a syndicated advice column printed in over 700 newspapers, periodicals, and websites. However, this may not be true in your space-time. Zack is not a doctor of any stripe, nor has he played one on television. Please use your own common sense and consult a professional with your problem(s). Zack, Xen, or any other implied agents are not in any way responsible to you for any reason, whatsoever. Try suing Big Tobacco, we hear they have deep pockets.

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Works by Thomm Quackenbush


Find What You Love and Let It Kill You by Thomm Quackenbush
Pagan Standard Times: Essays on the Craft by Thomm Quackenbush
A Creature Was Stirring: A Twisted Christmas Anthology by Thomm Quackenbush
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