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In America

I am a celebrity and Stevehen insulted me.
I have great doubts that, if you have achieved anything bordering on actual fame, you care one whit what internet columnists have to say about you when offering their explicit opinions. You see the last two words of that previous sentence? Read them again. These are Stevehen's opinions and, as public figures, have no right to curtail his offering of them.
It would probably be best for you if you just turned the computer off right now and dove into your vault full of money. You'll feel better. As I won't have to hear you, I'll feel better. Everybody wins.

I am a fan of one of the above mentioned public figures and want you to remove all traces of Stevehen from the world to soothe my autocentric and ignorant views.
No. Try forming your own opinions, rather than defending people who probably wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire.
Fans of R. Kelly are exempt from my metaphor, obviously.

I find Stevehen's opinions intriguing and wish to subscribe to his newsletter.
You are in luck, click here.

I wish to nominate an contender for the greatest American ever.
So sorry, no. Stevehen is opinionated enough to have decided the subjects for his columns all on his own. He is a big boy.

Is Stevehen being sarcastic?
Stevehen? Being sarcastic? Why, that is just crazy talk!

Stevehen J. Warren was born in America. He knows people. American people. You should contact him if you are an American. Or if you aren't an America, but have ever met one.
He writes just to spite you.

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